


So Long (My Almost Romance)

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/F, girl!Harry, girl!Niall, idk what this is, obligatory shitty fic to christen my new account, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-25 00:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I never want to see you unhappy<br/>I thought you'd want the same for me</p>
<p>genderswapped ~feeling fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Long (My Almost Romance)

**Author's Note:**

> So I've just gotten my new AO3 account, and so am christening it with shitty feelings fic that I wrote late at night on my iPod. I don't know what to say except to apologise. Sorry.
> 
> Unbeta'd.

She'd learn to smooth over things the way Lou had taught her to apply lip gloss all those years ago, when the worst thing they could do was to be caught applying 'strawberry sundae' lip smackers in the coat room in year four. As she, they really, got bolder, older and their regard for rules dwindled to a minimum, she still loved the way a swipe of gloss covered the nicks and tears littered across her bottom lip. It hid away the evidence of her anxieties, that the wall she tried so valiantly to build around her worries and fears had never climbed past it's foundations, how sometimes she was so consumed and overcome that she would rip and nibble at her lip when her mind was too preoccupied to reprimand her for the habit.

And Niall had come to a form of acceptance, that she would never mirror the flawless face of society, but as long as she didn't scrape the surface at least she could pretend. She had worked to find her flaws, studiously noting them and thinking of ways she could hide them away in the crevices of herself where her persona has cracked, causing something within her to break in the process. 

Hide, bury, attempt to cast away but never fix, heal, solve. Because she knew she didn't deserve such a self-luxury. For her search for security would never, could never be complete and maybe she didn't want it to end; she wouldn't have to come full circle and realise that she was so far gone she couldn't have told you where she'd begun to crack and crumble.

And where Niall had begun to tear herself down, Harry had passed the laborious process of picking up pieces of her own, ready to put herself back together. Slowly, steadily she built herself back up again, back to the point where smiles shone through her eyes instead of being clenched in her teeth while her eyes were preoccupied trying to fight floods of frustrated tears. 

So Harry knew what Niall was doing to herself, having fought those same battles day in and day out until something had made her see light; ironically Niall herself. 

Harry saw how Niall pushed and tried and hence projected a beam of optimism, taking what evils she was feeling and twisting them into something bright and believable. And now this light was fading. This beacon standing strong on the shores was growing decrepit with no upkeep, it's light fading as people forgot it's purpose and everything it had stood for. 

She had read a poem, assigned for English homework that seemed to capture what she saw happening as she stole glances across crowded hallways and stuffy classrooms.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one  
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

She saw Niall, this star, the most brilliant potential source of light and happiness shutting away into herself, yet if she had stared for a fraction longer she would've seen the reason.  
Blue eyes would've met her green, contrasting pink blush spreading over pale skin.

Is it fate or destiny or simply chance that makes us turn a head a fraction of a second earlier, or depart a minute or two later? No matter the answer, blue eyes do not meet green in a clash of realisation or a spark of something that emits the promise of possibility. Niall doesn't see Harry watch her and notice her and so she slips quicker through a relentless cycle, telling herself over and over that she's just not good enough until she believes in it so whole-heartedly it seeps into her dreams, places that were once realms of escape.

Harry watches Niall fall into a tailspin of emptiness and wonders why, why, why. 

\-----

She doesn't think to reach out until suddenly she does, whether it is fate or chance or something entirely different that finally shifts her onto the right course.

"..Oh, um, hi, sorry I just-"  
"Let me help you."  
"It's fine it's just a few papers I can pick them up my-"  
"I want to help you. Please."

 

"..... Okay."


End file.
